The Players:

Gwendolyn, District Sales Manager
Aden, Regional Sales Manager
Willie, Regional Vice President

The Setting:

A FORTUNE 500 office supply company

ACT ONE

The knot in her stomach reminded her she wasn’t really prepared for it. This past summer, Gwendolyn, a District Sales Manager at a FORTUNE 500 company and the BDC’s player of the day, was walking with her Regional Sales Manager, Aden, to the Regional VP’s office to discuss her future career path. Gwendolyn had carefully set a series of actions into play to create the opportunity to have this conversation.

The Background

Gwendolyn was a typical naive Meritorious Big D!ck Contest player at work, where she worked hard, was good at her job, and achieved results. Based on her success, she felt she had earned a promotion. Since she’d started at the Big D!ck Cult of Pens and Paper she’d been promised a fast track in the management program. However, shortly after her start, the national economy deflated. In addition, a major competitor’s acquisition had virtually stopped promotions. When a headhunter called Gwendolyn about a management position elsewhere, she decided to cover her ass and check it out.

ACT TWO

Gwendolyn was down to the final interview and was fairly confident she’d get an offer. However, she really wanted to climb her current corporate cult ladder. She was drunk on the corporate Kool-Aid, puckered-up to kiss booties of the Big D!ck’s, and been patient. But her efforts had not resulted in the desired new Big D!ck title, salary, and prestige.

Gwendolyn decides to get bold and do a Big D!ck offense play

Instead of keeping her job hunt a secret, she told a colleague that was cozy with one of the Bigger D!ck national vice-presidents about her interviews in hopes of nudging a promotion counter-offer. Although she knew the unwritten corporate cult code that leaving wasn’t viewed kindly, she believed a potential job offer would increase her girth and value. The corporate cult had offered more money to employees they wanted to keep who had gotten other job offers.

ACT THREE

A few days after the seeds of her secret were sown, Gwendolyn found herself setting in Aden’s office being chastised for even thinking about interviewing with another corporate cult when she had so many promising opportunities with the Cult of Pens and Paper. He promptly took her to his boss. Willie, the Regional VP, reassured that her career was bright and promising. After all it was his job to minimize cult defectors unless it was convenient for them to leave.

Once they had her defenses down and had stroked her ego about being a valuable asset, Willie, who’s also a Big D!ck Bully, put Gwendolyn on the spot and forced her to call the company she was interviewing with to drop-out of the interview process. Since she couldn’t afford to lose her paycheck, she felt pressured into making the call, and did.

From that day forward Gwendolyn’s corporate life changed

She wasn’t treated as a valuable team member, but instead was treated as a cult defector, and was basically blackballed. She received little if any help from Aden, her Little Prick boss–those who do the dirty work of the Big D!cks.

In November, the final blow came when the powers at the corporate cult HQ decided to eliminate one of the three district sales managers in Gwendolyn’s office. It wasn’t a surprise to many that Gwendolyn was thrown under the bus. Now she’s without a job, a career path, and can’t reapply at the company that was interested in her for months.

THE BDC LESSON

Despite anything anyone tells you at a Big D!ck Corporate Cult, no one will ever Cover Your Ass other than you. At best your co-workers are your allies, at worst they can be mortal enemies. When you make a Big D!ck play, be prepared for the consequences if you lose. Despite the Supreme Court’s ruling, a corporate cult doesn’t have a soul and believes everyone is replaceable. The bottom line is you’re just a number on someone’s spreadsheet.

Author Note: The names have been changed to protect the Big D!ck Players, but the story is true.

Subscribe to the BDC Newsletter

Be the first to get the Blog Post

Connect with Lafferty on Twitter & Facebook

Buy The Big D!ck Contest: Exposed on Amazon, Kindle, Nook, iBooks, & Sony eReader

2 Responses to “BDC LESSON: Big Dick Plays Gone Wrong”