Archive for November, 2010

Every campaign, from mayors to the president of the United States, begins with a field of candidates, regardless of party, making promises about how they will make our lives better. They promise to lower taxes, create more jobs, and keep us safe from everything from the local robber to the international terrorist.

These candidates are usually highly educated (not so much this year), and financially better off than the rest of us. But to win the BDC of Politics they must pander for votes. So, they try to present themselves as one of the ordinary people (you and me). There are always a few with working-class roots. But by the time they run for office, most have dug them up and thrown them away.

No matter their background or current status, they all sing the same mantra: “Give me your vote, and I’ll give you a better life.” Of course, some politicians believe that they can deliver on their promises. And we all want to believe they can.

But what most candidates are really saying on the campaign trail is: “Give me your vote so I can give my Big Dick Contributors tax loopholes, minimal regulations, and plenty of enticing government contracts.” (Don’t be the Tea Party’s Little Prick because they won’t be any different — they’ll just reward different Big D!cks.)

After voting, you’re just one of the little people they don’t need until the next election. And let’s face it, you work so hard to pay your bills that you don’t have time to check-up to see if they keep their campaign promises to the voters. Which, in most cases, they don’t. But, not surprisingly, they do keep their campaign promises to their Big D!ck Contributors and Friends. After all, politics is a sport for people with BD Assets and a BD Who You Know Rolodex.

Once elected, regardless of promises or party, they join a common exclusive club. They protect each other, friend or foe. When politicians publicly talk to each other even when they’re on opposites sides of the fence, they always say, “respectfully disagree” and “my friend”. If they were respectful and friends, wouldn’t they just have the balls to have a spirited debate? Instead, they sound like they’re having tea with the queen. Personally, when my friends disagree with me, I want to respectfully, but spiritedly, tell them they are idiots.

Who decides which party gets to claim the coveted electoral powers each year? Since, Americans are split almost evenly between those dreaded latte liberal Democrats and those greedy, Bible thumping, conservative Republicans, it’s left to those pesky, indecisive, but very Big D!ck Independents, to determine which team (Democrat or Republican) wins each BD Election.

Looks like team Red will win this year…let’s see what they do when their girth is increased. Can they be responsible with the power? Or will it be business as usual? My teenie weenie would bet on “business as usual.”

This is mostly an exert from The Big D!ck Contest: Exposed.

Check out for more information about the Big D!ck Contest.