Oscar? Big D!ck Statue!


So why do we watch the Oscars year after year? To see if the host has the Big D!ck Talent to keep us entertained for three hours of the Hollywood elite patting themselves on the back.

Any actor that has achieved celebrity status for something other than so-called “reality TV,” dreams not only of fame and big d!ck paychecks, but of winning a golden statue named Oscar. It theoretically designates Big D!ck Talent. Or a Big D!ck Studio’s lobbying efforts. But why you win doesn’t matter–it only matters that you do.

For everyone else there is the hope of getting one of those over-the-top gift baskets, that are valued at $85K this year, and the Vanity Fair Party invitation.

For industry in… Read more »

The Big D!ck Contest vs. Death


Although we don’t know our cultural icons personally, we think we do because they are Meritorious Big D!cks immortalized by a God given talent. We’ll forever be able to hear their songs, see their movies, read their words, or see their art. Yet, every time one of our beloved icons dies, most recently, Steve Jobs, Amy Winehouse, and Elizabeth Taylor, we stop, we reflect, and our heart skips a beat.

Our heart skips a beat, and time seems to stop as our mind is filled with a blurry haze when we hear the breaking news that a cultural icon passed away before their time. That’s what happened this past Saturday when we heard that Whitney Houston had died at 48. We stopped. We sang. We dance… Read more »